Wednesday, February 2, 2011

     Well here it is my very fist blog. I decided to call my blog Crumpled Moment because when a writer messes up he crumples his page and starts rewriting...this will be my page to 'rewrite' the things I can't in real life. My blogs will be about my life, my feelings, and my opinions. I do not care if you comment on my posts. However, this is my little place in the world for it to be all about me. These blogs are my punching bags, mountain tops, and dark corners of the world, for me to vent, complain, and share my life. 
     Like many people in this world, I want to improve on my self worth and attitude towards things. I have many titles, some good  and some bad: mother, fiancee, daughter, sister, friend, student, teacher, employee, bitch, lover, hard worker, etc. My goal is to fulfill the definitions of these titles to the fullest, even the bad ones. By blogging I believe I can get rid of some extra baggage and make room for new improvements.Well here it goes.....
     CHASING! I feel like I am constantly chasing something. An unrealistic dream, my teacher around the school, time, and my son. Kaursin recently learned how to crawl. Ever since then, I can't keep up with anything. I am constantly having to get him out of potentionally bad situations. He'll sit still for the longest time, but as soon as I try to do somehting, like homework, the dishes, or relax for a few minutes, he takes off. His favorite place to be is under the TV stand. Today as I am trying to do dishes, I look into the living room and he is putting the dog bone in his mouth. SICK! Don't get me wrong I am very proud of the fact that he is doing really well for his age. It's just that I feel like I'm falling behind at so many other things now.
     I want to be the best fiancee for my future husband. I want to keep up with house work and nice dinners, but it seems impossible now. Chasing Kaursin around the house on top of: going to classes and homework and making babysitting arrangements and working all weekend and wedding planning and trying to get in shape and making arrangements to teach at the elementary schools and trying not to kill the naughty dogs and still being a good WEARING ME OUT!
      Being worn out and tired all the time is hard. I randomly start crying at nothing. My birthday was two days ago and I was grumpy all day long. I felt terrible, Kyle was trying to do whatever he could to make it a special day but I couldn't get in a good mood.
      Anyways to bring chapter one to a close, one of my best friends recently started a blog. I thought it was a great idea. Like I said earlier this will be my spot to let out a little and take a deep breath. That is what I just did. *SIGH* I feel a little better now. Kaursin is awake from his nap...back to chasing!